Friday, January 27, 2012

Who iz Who in Your Zoo

What’s really good people?

Been a long minute since I got on my blogspot and gave you all a good dose of truth, reality and a little respite from the everyday GRIND. The kid done seen some things and had to grow up fast over these past few months but am back, BETTER and STRONGER than ever so get ready for another fun year of “Check Yo Self b4 You Try to Check Me” commentary from yours truly the “Capital P”. It’s a little crazy to see what can take place just over a course of a day, let alone one week but try wrapping your brains around six weeks of daily events, news, sports and gossip. Let’s just say I got RACKS on RACKS on RACKS of things coming for the people. Let’s Go!  

Okay people; let me get focused…

So anybody been to the zoo lately? Now I know that is dumb a** question right? I mean it is winter outside and ain’t nobody I know leaving their heated home to go see and feed the cute little animals. And to all my African brothers and sisters, who stop by to check out the blogspot regularly and show me love, don’t start cussing at me in your thick accent talking bout “A Zoo? What is that O…?”

The dictionary describes the zoo as a park or an institution in which living animals are kept and usually exhibited to the public. In slang terms it is a place or situation marked by confusion or disorder. For the purpose of my commentary the “Zoo” is your personal space and the people who enter it daily be it family, friends, colleagues or on-lookers. We are now approaching the end of January on the calendar and here I am ready to challenge you to rethink the purpose of those in your lives just after all the New Year’s affirmation have finally subsided. My belief is that the precious little time you take to examine the characteristics and personality traits of those in your space, the more likely you grow as a person and let go of the garbage and waste holding you back.

Boys/Girls; I introduce to you the usually suspects in the “Zoo”

The Bear – This character is the overbearing personality of a friend. So powerful that he/she can trounce another with just a look or a word. In China the bear also symbolizes strength - My Take is we all need a Bear in our lives Good/Bad. More importantly rather than separating or removing one’s self from a Bear type personality learn to manage it and capitalize on his/her brute strength..

The Bird – Signifies extravagant and elaborate thoughts. On another note, it can symbolize lightness and removal from worldly concerns - If you know “BIG P” then you know I got NO love for a Bird. Birds as I see it come a dime a dozen. There is one always readily available so “On to the next one”.

The Chicken – Represents a feeling of fear or reluctance to face the situation head-on. The term a chicken with its head cut off implies the person is not using their head. It also shows a lack of courage – All I gotta say is only time will help you separate the Bravehearts from the Cowards in your life. The only time I like chicken is on my jollof rice & the Tuesday lunch special at “Popeyes”.

The GIRAFFE – Symbolizes one meddling into the affairs of others. Can denote a distortion of the image of self, too much distance between heart and head, too much emotion and not enough reason – How do I simply put this; you like and want drama in your life then this is your person. And some of these dudes out here got a lot of this b***h-a**-ness trait in them too.

The Gorilla – Passive and peaceful nature though low mental state which might bright troublesome activities or conditions – We all know this person, the one that always seems high, Kooler than Kool-aid that you have to repeat things to like 5 times before he/she catches on. And always says “My Bad” with everything and we still love him/her at the end of the day.

The Lion – Conveys strength of character, tremendous energy, effortlessly masterful and dominant. Very temperamental and easily angered. Misunderstood as a braggart, natural born leader, intelligent and magnanimous – I present to you yours truly, the one and only “Capital P” aka “Big P” aka “I Be Dat". (S/O) to all my other lion mates in the rest of the universe.

The Tiger – often emotionally erratic and represents one’s own shortcomings and need to re-evaluate oneself – Ok; whenever you see this person heading towards you, you BEST keep it moving and head in the opposite direction. This person is always in crisis. Fellas; never fall in love with a Big Booty & Smile.

The Turtle – Represents a long life and quiet strength - Ok, Ok; I only put the turtle on my list because I am a “Terp” for life. (S/O) to all my fellow University of Maryland Terrapins alums. And we all know of a person that never seems to age year after year or that quiet calming influences that all so valuable when in need of support and re-assurance.

The Sheep – conveys lack of individuality – This is that D**k Ridin’ character always quick to hope on the next man/woman SWAGG! No originality whatsoever and looking to make a friend at any cost. Where my man Alonzo at? “To protect the sheep, you’ve got to catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf”…

The Mosquito – signifies temporary irritations in one’s daily life – This person just won’t shut-up and will talk you to death. A quick aside; only in Nigeria do the mosquitoes only seek out non-natives as they perceive their blood to be fully nourished and rich.

So there you have it people. My ABC’s on how to detect and manage all the varying personalities that consume us. Not all of it is bad though. Some you ignore and others you just tolerate and keep it moving.

I am appreciative CLOWNS don’t live in the Zoo.

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Na Wa O (NWO)!

Na Wa O! - is slang or a pidgin term used back home in Nigeria and other parts of Africa that simply illustrates something unbelievable, makes you speechless or leaves you flabbergasted.