Life’s stressors got you overwhelmed and frustrated? Well check it. Many of us wake-up to the grind, whether it’s to further and better our education, or put in a good eight plus hours to support and provide for family; all in the pursuit of happiness and chasing our life long ambitions.
You see fighting and battling depression sees no color, ethnicity, socio-economic status or religion. I have always emphasized and reiterated on several of our prior blog posts that one of the primary reasons we do this here on the blogspot is to connect my two worlds, and everything in between. So whether you are one of “My Omo Naija” peoples in Nigeria
You know one of the big problems and issues with mental health in Nigeria (Africa ), the African American Community and amongst people of color in general is that “Mental Health” is taboo and frowned upon. We runaway from the subject matter; struggle to even identify it or own up to it and often treat people battling this sickness like pariahs.
Here are some quick facts and statistics by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention here in the United States
· Number of emergency department visits for self-inflicted injury: 472,00
· All Suicides - Number of deaths 34, 598
· Firearm Suicides – Number of deaths 17, 352
· Suffocation Suicides – Number of deaths 8, 161
This week on the blogspot your man Panko decided to do something different for our viewers and supporters. I am going to introduce you to a good man here in the DMV area and share his story with the rest of the world.
Ok people; Let me get focused…
(In his words) My name is Edward Kittrell. I’m 35 years of age, and a native resident of the Maryland and Washington , DC
Depression crippled me mentally, physically, and financially as this illness swooped in and took everything from me like a thief in the night. There were days were I wouldn’t get out of the bed and months at a time that I wouldn’t even leave the house. The anxiety had me to a point where I wouldn’t even want to be out in public, scared to even be around family and friends. All I wanted to do is be alone because I thought that others wouldn’t understand what I was going through and instead of understanding, I would be ridiculed and judged. At times others perceived me as acting strange and a few had the gull to imply that maybe I was crazy.
Imagine that! Imagine people that I’ve known for years began treating me like I was from another planet or a stranger in the streets because my depression and anxiety unintentionally made me act different toward them and around them. As a result I pushed away family and friends, eventually my wife abandoned me, I lost a good job, got behind on my bills and at my lowest point became homeless. Throughout, I turned to drugs to try to cope with what I was going through but looking back it only made things worst. There were times when I had some of the same thoughts of suicide that led me to take pills and tried hanging myself but somehow on that attempt as I was loosing air rapidly, the rope snapped. My final attempt was putting a loaded 9mm to my head and pulling the trigger but luckily, AGAIN, I was saved because the gun jammed. At that moment I prayed like I never prayed before and sat there crying and begging GOD to take me over and to help me make it through this. It was indeed through the GRACE OF GOD, through the support of my family and close friends, through a stronger, more dedicated mindset, and a defiant will to live that 3 years later I was back better than ever before. I realize now that GOD had to strip me down to nothing just so he could build me back up again bigger and stronger than I ever envisioned that I could be previously.
Growing up you would always here that GOD has a purpose for me and my life, but to be honest this was the first time that I’ve ever truly believed it. Not only do I believe it but I feel it in my heart and soul. I see now that my purpose is to be a living testimony to those who suffer from depression and anxiety. I now know that GOD didn’t bring me through all of this to be silent about what he’s done in my life or for me not to share with others what I have learned that could in turn save the life of someone else. I’m here to let people know that YOU TOO can find yourself in this same situation, in that same lonely place I dwelled for so long, therefore I plan to live my life as a constant reminder to all that there is hope and there is help available!
I have started a community organization that provides assistance to those that need help, specifically targeting teens and young adults who suffer from depression or anxiety disorders, as well as the effects it may have on others around them. Years later I realize that most often depression starts with dramatic experiences and in most cases those events occur while you are in the younger stages of your life. In the black community here in the area and others just like it all across the US
One thing for sure I AM A SURVIOR and I’m not talking about the song from the former pop group Destiny’s Child. I’m a survivor for real! I’m speaking of a series of real life experiences that would have ripped the spirit away from the average human being. I survived being molested at a young age. I’ve survived the typical broken and dysfunctional single parent home. I have survived life in the streets and all of the dangers that accompany that way of living. I have survived being turned away and alienated for a period of time by the people I thought loved me the most, when I needed them the most. I’ve survived being unemployed, hungry, and for a while homeless. I remember sleeping in the back of my old elementary school, inside 24 hour laundry mats and even in the a few churches. I’ve been robbed, beaten, shot at, car jacked, just to identify some of those experiences. I could go on for days as to what I’ve been throughout in my life. But Ill tell you this, thing that I’m most proud of is that with GOD’s help I have survived a severe depression and anxiety condition, as well as 3 separate attempts to end it all. My plan now is to help as many people as I can do the same.
They say it takes a village to raise a child but I know from experience that it takes the love and support of 100 villages to save one from depression when it strikes. Therefore I can’t do it alone. Even if your help is just spreading the word on what I’m trying to do, that in its self would be a blessing. I know that I have been long winded but I pray that you would really think about what you just read. My mission has been determined and I plan to complete it if it’s the last thing I do! Are YOU going to just sit on the sideline? Or does it take you losing someone YOU LOVE before you step up and do something to help out? Feel free to pass this on to any and everyone you know because this is me, this is my story, and my mission. I’m not ashamed! If I can help just one person I feel my effort is well worth it!
“1 LYFE, Infinite Choices, Choose to LIVE!”
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| ED Kittrell www.1lyfe.org |
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its funny that i got up this morning thinking about how hard we work in life only to die, but those statistics are shocking ... wow
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