Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Special Edition

COMPLIMENTS OF DA SEASON!!!

Let me get focused for a second….  New Year’s is fast approaching; man I can’t believe it’s actually here already!  What is a brother to do???? Where did 2010 GO???

You know New Year’s Eve celebrations just are not the same anymore in my eyes.  Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and have way too much to occupy my mind or is it that I’m loosing my “Swagger” to the point that I’m starting to treat it like any other day on the calendar?  This is a problem!!!

New Year’s Eve customs are richly celebrated across the globe – resolutions, fireworks, ball dropping in Times Square New York City, champagne toasting, parties (OVER PRICED), noise makers and any other excuse you can find to act a fool, I think almost all of us have done at least one of these, RIGHT???

Speaking of Resolution's, this is the one thing that many of us dread or look forward to at the start of a New Year.  Ladies/Gentlemen, I know you already have plans to go to a place of worship more often, eat healthier and/or lose weight, drink less alcohol, spend more time with family and the kids and save money. Kudos to you all, these are all great things to work on and improve upon. I know it’s all with the intention of developing the new “You”.

As for me, I’m taking a different approach. This year I’ve developed MY TOP 11 LIST of the THINGS I WON’T DO IN 2011.  This list represents many of the everyday things I take part in and the behaviors of complete strangers that have me Shaking My Damn Head (SMDH)…Drum roll please...

#11    419 - I wont take it personal when non-Nigerians crack jokes about soliciting emails as a part of some ponzi scheme to get rich, all the while these same people are going online looking to marry a mail ordered bride to train for their household.

#10    MOVE IT CABBY - Have a mental lapse and commit “Road Rage” en route to work during GO-SLOW i.e. (RUSH HOUR) all because one of my Afrikan taxi-cab driving uncles are oblivious to their surroundings…Woooow!

#9      ORANGE, LIME GREEN, YELLOW - Limit my loud and bright colored shirt wearing to just one day a week. NEVA!!!

#8      COME ON MANE - Fight the urge to suck my teeth when someone around me is reporting senseless or unmerited information in my presence.

#7      MY BELLY FULL - Avoid eating Plantain, Beans and Rice (Dodo Ati Rice) as part of my morning breakfast routine.

#6      IPHONE, BLACKBERRY, AND DROID – Reduce my mobile phone inventory to ONE  An average “Omo Najia” can carry or use up to three mobile phones. I no Know O!!!!

#5      BROOKS BROTHER ON A SCOOTERWonder how my fellow "Omo Naija" can where a wool three piece suit in that heat riding in the back of an Okada (motor bike). You never get a second chance to make a first impression. MONEY POWER and RESPECT… really???

#4      IT’S ALMOST BEEN 20 YEARS - Go into watching any “Super Eagles” match and expecting the national team to get thrashed by 3 GOALS!!!

#3      I AIN’T GOT NUFFIN FOR YA - When I see a call from an unregistered or a blocked number on my mobile phone, I will not assume that its someone calling to ask for money or a favor…SIKE!!!

 #2     NO COMMENT - Discuss politics or religion; especially politics as we head towards the next election in April 2011 in Naija – unless I have all day and/or want to create a new enemy for life.


AND THE #1 THING I WON’T DO IN 2011 IS…

          SUITCASES TO NAIJA - Take EIGHT full size suite cases to the airport on my next visit home to Naija and look baffled or start fighting with the airline staff when I’m told that I must pay for excess baggage AND I’m over the weight specifications.

          HAPPY & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL

Na Wa O (NWO)!

Na Wa O! - is slang or a pidgin term used back home in Nigeria and other parts of Africa that simply illustrates something unbelievable, makes you speechless or leaves you flabbergasted.


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KOOL KEEDZ PIX of Week
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