Friday, June 24, 2011

So You Wanna Hate on Becky?

This is it people.

Part IV and the last installment of our battle of the sex’s series on the blogspot. It’s been fun, a little below the belt at times but always truthful. Now, I seriously doubt that am going to present or offer you anything deep or thought provoking this week that you don’t already know. But what I do hope for is to make you rethink your singular point of contention the next time you come across an inter-racial couple before even speaking to them. So you ready?

Ok people; let me get focused…
  
Not sure what is more dreadful for a black man to go through today, being harassed by the Cops for a suspicion of “DWB” Driving While Black or having to go through a crowd of black women with a white female by his side knowing that all eyes on him are straight up HATING just because he choose to kick it with “Becky” for the evening. I have seen this play out so many times when am out that when you make eye contact with that brotha you can see and feel the sense of shame in his spirit and SWAG. SMH!

First of all; a grown a** man such as myself could care less what Keisha, Shaquana and Daquisha all have to say or think. As long as “Becky” is showing me love it’s all good. You Digg! The whole I wonder what my friends will think or say is some middle school s**t in the first place and them hoodrat chicks do not offer me anything of substance anyways. Like I always say; Love iz Love! So why should it matter where you getting it from as long as someone out there is giving it back in return.  The idea is to have someone you share the same values, have mutual respect for and is willing to ride for you.  

So is it really “Becky” you mad at and have so much hatred towards or are you really kicking yourself in the gut because once again that dude you kicked to the curb years ago done came up in the game by staying on his grind and making something of himself. Do remember, when you had potentially a good thing going with ol’ boy, you kicked his behind “to the left” for Tyrone, Dre and Marcus because they were getting that paper and living that so called life. Now their a** doing 10 year bids for a strong arm robbery charge after sticking up the local Bodega. NWO!  

Now the question I pose this week and would love to get feedback on is why it is widely acceptable for black women to date outside of their race with very little backlash but when black men do it here comes the “sellout” label? Now that some bulls**t! I have yet to come across a black male that goes through all the dramatics of the rolling of the eyes, lewd and disrespectful commentary when confronted by the company of a sista and her non-black lover. But for many sistas that is the standard practice and procedure.    

By now many of you all have experienced or heard these stereotypes: Black women are angry, black women bring too much drama, white girls are uninhibited sexually and because of slavery, blacks have bought into the white man’s idea of beauty. The truth about stereotypes is that some resemblance of candor about them. And to compound things, it does not help when news outlets flash reports like we have more black men in jail than in colleges or the unemployment rate for black men is at an all time high. All this negative energy depicted on brothas only raise the frustration and dissatisfaction black women already have towards black men without “Becky” in the picture.

It’s called "OPTIONS" - So once again, are you really mad at Becky, Emily or Jen? Or is it more of the case of there is slim pickings out there to begin with and brothas these days ain’t even looking at you or your girls since they getting much love from other females who look nothing like you? I did some informal research and found out that less that 10 percent of couples in America marry a person of a different racial or ethnic background. As these numbers continue to climb in the foreseeable future, how is this necessarily a bad thing if we are suppose to be a blended society functioning as melting pot of ideas, values and beliefs?

The "CURIOSITY" Factor - this is the most understated ingredient in the whole inter-racial trend. Just like when we were children and were warned repeatedly to not touch that hot stove, our curiosity won out and we followed our instincts and did anyway. And as we get older we become bolder and reassuring of ourselves, black men perceive their actions as a singular behavior with not direct effect or impact on the next man or woman. Basically it’s the “I mo do me” mentality. Therefore, black women stop feeling disrespected or take it as shunning once race when you see a black man with another woman with a different racial make-up than yourself. All that brotha is thinking about is how much money, work and time will it take for him to get that “CUTTY” and move onto the next one!

Love Yourself First!

Friday, June 17, 2011

My House! Your House! Our House?


Wow! We are coming down the home stretch people on our battle of the sex’s series. This has been such a blast and we have had so much fun entertaining you all. We promise to definitely do some more work on these topics and issues in the future.

This week we want to do a little public service announcement for all those young, wet behind the ears and clueless couples who believe they are ready to take their relationship to the next level.

Ok people; let me get focused… 

You know life is hard enough worrying about your career, bills and holding down a family. And the minute you throw a female into the equation and start making plans to have her move in to live with you… “Don’t do it” RECONSIDER! Now, your daily problems will consist of negotiating what to watch on television, who gone do the dishes for the evening (Nigerian MEN don’t do dishes) and always remembering to keep the toilet seat DOWN! I mean WTF?

One of my hidden truths about many of these young females out here is the finer/bad a chick is; the dirtier she keeps up her personal surroundings. Am talking about video vixen bad type females, they always keep a filthy crib; the inside of their cars look like train wreck and their cooking is highly suspect. The reason for this is very simple, they spend all day worrying about trying to look cute or landing a “BALLER” that will provide for them the lifestyle that comes with a cook, nanny/butler and chauffeur to manage all their household responsibilities.

It’s a fact that when two people live together you definitely get to see the best and worst in one another male/female. This happens because no longer can you mask or pick and choose what you want to reveal to your partner at your pace and discretion. 

So unless you were born with or have mastered qualities such as patience, maturity and the art of compromising, my friend you are in for a rude AWAKENING! Do not let the deciding factor in reaching your decision to shack up together be solely based on the idea of living together will help “save money” for this great life you have planned for the two of you.

For my fellas out there, I came up with a quick list of things you can look forward to once you have had one too many drinks after partying and decide to say to your girl “Baby I want you to move in with me”.

  1. You’re life is over because she now runs s**t
  1. Females can never make-up their minds
  1. Don’t even waste your time trying to make sense of it all
  1. Apologize for what??? Just do it & keep it moving.
  1. PMS PMS PMS!
  1. The female is never wrong
  1. Just because its there don’t mean you getting any
  1. I need space for my shoes
  1. Expect hair EVERYWHERE!
  1. Sometimes S**t Just Don’t Workout.
Do Remember; “Sleeping Over” & “Living Together” are not the same. 

Yo; hit the cut below for my girl Fumi's response from a female's perspective on this topic.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Dating 2011– Top Ten Reason Why You Still Single

So after last week’s post on COMMUNICATION (Check it out if you missed it), my home-girl “Ms. E” got at me and was not too thrilled with my point of view. She wanted to know after reading the latest blog “Why Are Men So Stupid”? Now you know "dem fighting words" Right?

Let’s Go!


Ok people; let me get focused…

Hmmmmmm, good question but you see the thing is no men on my team fit that description. We the “Last of the Mohicans” For REAL! My dudes work hard everyday, take care of their families and build for the future. What is there not to respect about that?

Then it hit me, she wasn’t necessarily referring to my team of “Made Men”, she was more than likely describing the same small-minded boys many of you females still shack-up with. And I ain’t talking about “Big Shaq” O’neal either. Sorry Jersey Chasers” his engaged now so no applications are currently being accepted to audition for Basketball Wives. Loool…

This week I am going to to help you females get out of the rut that many of you have found yourselves in recently and give you some quick pointers that you can apply towards making a “Better You”.

No disrespect ladies; I’m proud of your hearts, It’s been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works. Now time to grab a pencil and notepad because summer school is now officially in session.  

No B.S. - The best way to sum up many females today is this; some are real, some are good. Some are fake and some are real good at being fake.

Shut-Up There! – Why is it acceptable that so many “Thirsty” females out here always gotta let everybody know how they “don’t need no man to take care of them”. Really? So that means you a “Big Girl” and can handle it when I drop you’re a** then for the next female that knows how to keep her mouth shut!

Are We There Yet? - A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gas. You can stay in it all you want but it won’t go anywhere. What is it going to take for females to stop judging men by their past? We don’t live there anymore!

Those Wondering Eyes - Love is like dominoes. I fall for you… and you fall another. That’s why I had to take him to the “Ghetto University” baby girl. Looool… Truth is ladies, “”How can you love me when you can’t love yourself?

It’s Gotta Be the Shoes – ladies be honest, a man can give you all of the above; attention, good sex, good love, compliments. But you would trade all that in for a nice pair of Chrisitan LOUBOUTIN.

Some of that “Thug Loving” – Ladies at what stage in your development are you willing to do without the “HYBRISTOPHILIA” fixation. Hybristophilia is the sexual attraction you females have towards guys that love to stay in/out of jail. Oh BTW; your man “P” got college degrees “Racks, on Racks on Racks” LMAO!

Always a Hater Around – Stop being so worried that people are watching and judging you. In reality you are too busy worrying about the same thing. Life’s too short to be spent on chasing perfections. Preeeeeach!

It Is What It Is – Am sorry; but if you got 6 kids by 5 baby Daddys, “Real Talk” ol’ boy was not trying to get with you because you were wifey material in the first place.

Best Advise Ever! Ladies try not to fall in love with every dude you meet. Fall from a bridge instead, it hurts less… This works I swear!

Still Making Promises –a promise is a promise at least that’s what they say. Well welcome to relationships where they’re broken everyday. Ladies please remember: you can’t take back what you’ve said. Think before it hurts others and harms you.

Make sure you hit the cut below for my girl Fumi’s response & rebuttal to this week’s post. Gonna be an interesting read.

So remember; the difference between “like” “love” & “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” & “forever”.

Contributions made to this week’s post courtesy Joshva.

Friday, June 3, 2011

#1 Rule of Engagement - Communication

If you are or have been in a relationship with a female, there always comes a point when the wooing and excitement hits a big a** Berlin size brick wall right? There are many things that help to intensify or create friction amongst couples such as jealous/immature friends, $$$$$$$, family and of course attention from other females. One area that has to be on solid footing at all times to combat all the pressure (internal/external) in a relationship is the type of COMMUNICATION you have with your lady.   

The word Communicate means (to share or exchange information, news, or ideas). Never in the definition do you find words like (tone, emotion, feelings, care, respect, etc…). So why is it that only in relationships, the last thing females take away from the conversation at hand is the information actually presented.

Ladies; this weeks post is to help you gain insight in the complexity of us men and the role you play in keeping things Drama Free. How come in almost every man/female relationship there always comes a point when the female says “I want you to talk to me the way you talk to your friends”. Oh really?  So you want me to really speak blue, confrontational, animated to you but all in a loving way somehow? WTF? Now that is some real peanut butter & jelly bulls**t!

Forget “Keeping it Real”, your man “P” is about to “Keep it Right” and make things very elementary for those interested in improving their situation. Fellas, I do this for you all and ladies go grab a pen or pencil and pay attention. Class is in session.

The Power of Text – I love how females be mad brave and talk really reckless on their text messages but when is time to confront the guy in person and try to actually have a conversation, all of sudden “am having problems putting my words together”.  Huh? LMAO! Yo, don’t front for me to appease whoever it is that is pumping up your ego. Texting has definitely set back the male/female communication plan back like 20 years seriously.

Get to the Point – Be direct whenever possible. Ladies; please stop interrupting us men just because a thought popped up in your cranium and now all of a sudden you wanna talk about our finances. You can’t be serious? Can a brother enjoy the rest of his football game? Meanwhile, it wasn’t our finances you really wanted to talk about all along; it was the way you thought you saw me and ol’ girl flirting at happy hour. 

Hearing & Listening – If you want us to sit there and listen to you ramble on for hours at a time, the least you can do is pay attention to your man the first time around so he can dead the conversation. Ladies love to use and overstate this annoying seven letter English word that starts with a “P”. “P” stands for Process. Can someone explain to me why females love to Process EVERYTHING? Na Wa O!

Are We There Yet? – Ladies please just make up your minds ALREADY! It is bad enough that men get tortured on outings with females. For example; deciding on what to eat at a restaurant, waiting on your late a** after you done tried on about five different outfits only to put back on the first one (all of this just to attend a BBQ). SMH!

I Plead the 5th – Just because I chose to say nothing don’t mean am guilty of anything. I decide and will tell you what I think/want you to know when I feel like it. It is your job to prove beyond a reasonable doubt my conviction of any wrong doing so please call on your first witness because the Defense Rest its case.

Case of the Ex – Look; NO two men truly communicate the same. So stop trying to figure out or conduct some type of informal poll with i.e. (the girlfriends with no man in their lives) on how you think you see similarities or tendencies in your current situation versus the last guy that dropped you.

If you don’t learn anything from this post, walk away with this “better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt” Mark Twain.

Hit the cut below for my girl Fumi’s response and rebuttal for the females. P

Na Wa O (NWO)!

Na Wa O! - is slang or a pidgin term used back home in Nigeria and other parts of Africa that simply illustrates something unbelievable, makes you speechless or leaves you flabbergasted.


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